If Santa were black....

... I'd leave that nigga some fried chicken/ no cookies.

... his album would be on shelves everywhere.

... he would bring me some ho ho hoes.

... the x-mas tree will be rolled up.

... it wouldn't be called "miracle on 34th st", it would have been named "drive by on mlk jr blvd".

... his sleigh would be on 26's.

... white people wouldn't celebrate Christmas anymore.

... he would get arrested for going down someones chimney.

... Rudolph would have a Mercedes symbol instead of a shining red nose.

... Christmas songs would sound less crackerish.

... we'd all get bootleg DVD's and illegitimate children.

... there wouldn't be a naughty list, that would be hypocritical.

... Christmas would be late.

... there'd be more jobs for fat black guys in December.

... his reindeer would have a really really hard time dragging his Hummer H2 around the world.