Consider these newly discovered laws of the universe...

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of any itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot
coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced
jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are
directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated
with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, it will.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you
never get a busy signal.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to
the least accessible corner.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the
one you were in will start to move faster than the one you
are in now.

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.