A guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of whiskey and a glass. "Something wrong, pal?" asks the bartender.

"Ah, my wife's pissed," the guy says.

"The other day was my birthday, and she got naked and told me I could tie her up and do whatever I wanted."

"Nice," says the bartender. "So what's the problem?"

"I tied her up and went golfing."