1. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our National Anthem..."


2. Charge 25 cents a cup for coffee.


3. "Charge the mound" when a professor beans you with a high fast question.


4. Describe parts of your thesis using interpretive dance.


5. "Musical accompaniment provided by..."


6. Stage your own death/suicide.


7. Lead the specators in a Wave.


8. Have a sing-a-long.


9. "You call THAT a question? How the hell did they make you a professor?"


10. "Ladies and Gentlemen, as I dim the lights, please hold hands and
concentrate so that we may channel the spirit of Lord Kelvin..."