Log On: Making a wood stove hot

Log Off: Too much wood on a fire

Monitor: Keep'n an eye on the wood stove

Download: Gitten the farwood off'n the truck

Megahertz: When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood

Floppy disc: Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood

Ram: That thar thang what splits the farwood

Hard Drive: Gitten home in the winter time

Windows: Whut to shut when its cold outside

Screen: Whut to shut when its black fly season

Byte: Whut dem dang flys do

Chip: Munchies fer the TV

Micro Chip: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag

Modem: Whatcha do to the hay fields

Dot Matrix: Ole Dan Matrix's wife

Lap Top: Whar the kitty sleeps

Keyboard: Whar you hang the dang truck keys

Software: Dem dang plastic forks and knifes

Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn

Mousepad: That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives

Mainframe: Holds up the barn roof

Port: Fancy flatlander wine

Enter: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"

Click: What you hear when you cock yer gun

Double Click: When you cock the double barrel

Reboot: Whut you have to do right before bedtime when you have to go to the outhouse.