Things Never Said By a Redneck...

1. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.

2. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

3. Duct tape won't fix that.

4. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

5. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

6. We don't keep firearms in this house.

7. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

8. You can't feed that to the dog.

9. I thought Graceland was tacky.

10. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.