Things Never Said By a Redneck...

1. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

2. Checkmate.

3. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

4. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

6. I don't have a favorite college team.

7. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

8. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

9. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

10. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.