Funny Jokes - Redneck Jokes
Redneck Jokes
Redneck Jokes joke #10983
"Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Happy Birthday Buddy"
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Redneck Jokes joke #10984
You think country and western are the two kinds of music.
You think cow tipping should be an Olympic sport.
You think paprika is a third-world country.
Dinner may or may not have tire tracks on it.
You own a homemade fur coat.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
People think you're having a yard sale....and you're not.
There is a wasp nest in your living room.
You own a waffle house credit card.
You've ever made change in the offering plate.
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Redneck Jokes joke #10985
You go to the family reunion to pickup women.
Your kid calls you "Uncle Daddy".
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think a "thesaurus" was a dinosaur.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You think that beef jerky and moon pies are two of the major food groups.
You think the space program is fake and pro wrestling is real.
You think the most popular pick-up line is "Nice tooth!"
Your idea of safe sex doesn't include anyone else.
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Redneck Jokes joke #10986
You know who built the "other" hemi.
Your car stereo costs more than your car.
Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.
Truckers tell your wife to watch her language.
Your wife uses a photo of Tammy Faye as a makeup application guide.
Your wife has more children than teeth.
Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
When you walk your dog you both use the same tree.
Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
Your dog sleeps closer to you than your wife does.
You go to the family reunion to pickup women.
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Redneck Jokes joke #10987
Things Never Said By a Redneck...
1. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
2. Checkmate.
3. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
4. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
6. I don't have a favorite college team.
7. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
8. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
9. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
10. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
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Redneck Jokes joke #10988
Things Never Said By a Redneck...
1. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
2. Trim the fat off that steak.
3. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
4. The tires on that truck are too big.
5. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
6. I've got it all on the C drive.
7. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
8. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
9. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
10. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
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Redneck Jokes joke #10989
Things Never Said By a Redneck...
1. Wrasslin's fake.
2. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
3. We're vegetarians.
4. Do you think my gut is too big?
5. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
6. Honey, we don't need another dog.
7. Who's Richard Petty?
8. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
9. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
10. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
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Redneck Jokes joke #10990
You might be a redneck if you wax your eyebrows with duck tape.
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