Funny Jokes - Political Jokes
Political Jokes
Being called a liar
A politician was running for re-election and was talking at a campaign stop to his constituents.
"My opponent has called me a liar. Rest assured, I have never lied to you. The only problem I have is that the facts don't always match up with what I believe."
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Being a liberal
You don't have to be insane to be a liberal,... but it helps.
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Nickel politics
There's a nickels worth of difference between a republican and a democrat
Put a nickel on the table and a republican will kill you for it.
Do the same, and a democrat will steal it from you.
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The truth
Hey, do you know the REAL reason the government jails people for theft?
It's because they don't want any competition.
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Total control
A guy named Bob is travelling by Amtrak with two strangers sitting close to him.
He is trying to sleep, but those guys were speaking loudly for a very long time heavily criticizing George Bush, the war in Iraq, corruption, unemployment, etc.
So Bob, in an attempt to force the guys to stop talking and let him sleep, tells them as a joke, that there is a new total control system developed by the FBI that spies upon all citizens, and there are lots of listening devices everywhere, so that anyone criticizing the government would be severely punished.
This didn’t have any effect on those guys, moreover they just laughed at Bob, and carried on and on, saying even more rude jokes about George Bush and the government.
Finally, close to 3:00 am, Bob goes to the restroom, and runs into the train conductor.
Bob asks the conductor to bring him some water and sleeping pills at exactly 3:00 a.m.
He goes back to his place and says loudly into the base of his seat, so that talkative guys could hear him:
"If the FBI director can hear me: could you please bring me a glass of water and some sleeping pills at 3:00 a.m., because there are some idiots here who are speaking too loudly about some political issues and won’t let me sleep."
The guys continue talking.
Exactly at 3:00 am, the door opens and the conductor comes out, and gives Bob the water and some sleeping pills.
The guys are shocked and finally stop talking. Bob is happy and manages to fall asleep...
When he wakes in the morning, the talkative guys are no where to be found.
Out of curiosity he asks the conductor about them, (also remembering that there shouldn’t have been any stops at night).
The conductor replies that some people in black suits stopped the train and arrested those guys.
Bob is completely shocked and surprised and asks about why he was not arrested.
The conductor answers that he doesn’t have a clue but one of the guys in black suits said that the director of the FBI liked Bob’s joke about the water and pills...
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Fred flintstone is like sadam hussein
Q: How are Fred Flintstone and Sadam Hussein alike?
A: Whenever they look out the window all they see is rubble.
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Sadam look-alikes
I heard that they got all of the Sadam look-alikes together and told them that they have some good news and some bad news.
The good news was that Sadam survived the bombings, so they all still had jobs.
One of the look-alikes asked,
"What's the bad news?"
The bad news, they were told, was that he lost an arm and an eye.
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11320.html
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Cubans
How do you fit 40
cubans into a telephone booth?
TELL THEM IT FLOATS!
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11321.html
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