Funny Jokes - Nationality Jokes
Nationality Jokes
Nationality Jokes joke #11043
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300ºC. The Russians used a pencil.Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11043.html
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Chinese man vs Speilberg
A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he seesSteven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people
bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man
replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese your all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It
was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese man, replies,
"Iceberg, Spielberg, Carsberg, you're all the same."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11190.html
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Mexicans
Why isn't Mexico in the olympics?...Because everyone that can swim, jump, climb, and sprint are already over the Border..
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11191.html
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Irish Light Bulb Joke
How many Irishmen does it take to replace a light bulb?30, 2 to hold the light bulb and 28 to drink till the room starts spinning.
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11202.html
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An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan...
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says,"We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of you will survive."
The four open the door and look out below.
The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers, "God Save The Queen," and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers, "Viva La France," and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers, "Remember the Alamo," and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11203.html
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A German, an American, and a Mexican....
A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times.
When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.
"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11204.html
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Chinese Baby Name
Q.How do you name a Chinese baby?A.Throw a tin down the stairs...ting tang tong!
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11719.html
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New Zealand Condom Shortage
Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely awoken at 4 am by the telephone.'Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word thet the Durex fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground. It is istimated the the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week.!!!'
PM: 'Shut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - wi'll be ruined!'
Hilth Munister: 'We're going to hef to shup some in from... Brutain?...'
PM: 'No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!'
Hilth Munister: 'What about Australia ?'
PM: 'I'll call Kevin Rudd - tell hum we need one million condoms; ten unches long and eight unches thuck! That way they'll continue to respect the All Blacks!!'
Three days later a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; 10 unches long; 8 unches thuck, all coloured green and gold. With small writing on each one.........
'MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM'
Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie .... Oy Oy Oy
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11817.html
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