Funny Jokes - Marriage and Divorce
Marriage and Divorce
Marriage and Divorce joke #11034
Have you heard of the new "Divorce" Barbie? She comes with all Ken's stuff.Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11034.html
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Winning the Lottery
A woman hurries home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!!!"The husband says, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she says. "Just get the hell out!"
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11029.html
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Marriage and Divorce joke #11017
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11017.html
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Marriage and Divorce joke #11041
A woman told her friend, “For eighteen years my husband and I were the happiest people in the world. Then we met”.Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11041.html
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Marriage and Divorce joke #11044
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.His friend says: ‘Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.’
The man then replies: ‘Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.’
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11044.html
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Cheating Stats
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11465.html
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Who should do what
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get out coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says! .......... "HEBREWS"
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11483.html
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Death Bed Confession
Jake was on his deathbed. His wife Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand,tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to
move slightly.
"My darling Susan," he whispered.
"Hush my love," she said. "Rest . Shhhh. Don't talk."
He was insistent."Susan ," he said in his tired voice." I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess", replied the weeping Susan. "Everything's all right, go to
sleep."
"No, no, I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend, and your mother"!
"I know," she replied......
"That's why I poisoned you."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11494.html
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