Funny Jokes - George Bush Jokes
George Bush Jokes
On the Road
Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde woman and an enormously large woman with an unfriendly scowl are in a train car. The train passes through a tunnel, and in the darkness the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. As the train pulls out of the tunnel, the daylight reveals a big red slap mark on Clinton's cheek.The blond thinks: "That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who must have slapped his face"
The fat lady thinks: "That dirty old Bill Clinton touched the blonde and she smacked him."
Bill Clinton thinks: "George put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me."
George Bush thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11447.html
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Defending the Honor of Texas
A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him. A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Mrs. Bush appeared on the television. "She's a horse's ass too," the man. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. "Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Bush country!" "Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11448.html
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Ancient Republican Proverb
Teach a man to light a fire and he will be warm forever. But throw him into the fire and he will never again complain about being cold.Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11449.html
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Sharks
3 Sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten. The first one says: I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy had eaten so much garlic I still feel sick. The second shark says: That's nothing pal! I swallowed Boris Jelzin last week and the old guy had so much vodka in him that I'm still drunk. The 3rd shark laughs and said: You lucky guys! I swallowed George W. Bush 3 weeks ago and the guy has so much air in his head, I still can't dive!Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11450.html
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Records, meant to be broken
His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished since he had given up drinking years ago. When asked why he was off the wagon, Dubya replied that he was celebrating finishing a jigsaw puzzle. They smiled and told him that wasn't much of an accomplishment. "Ah, but you're wrong. I did it in record time." When asked what that record was, he replied that he had finished it after only 6 months. Again, they told him that wasn't that great. "Oh yeah?" said the commander in chief, "Well the box says 3-5 YEARS!"Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11451.html
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Brothers
Three brothers Neil, Jeb and Dub, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road that led past the old graveyard."Come have a look over here", says Neil, "It's Obidiah Jones' grave, God bless his soul, he lived to the ripe old age of 87."
"That's nothing", says Jeb, "here's one named Butch Smith. It says here that he was 95 when he died."
Just then, Dub yells out, "But here's a fella that died when he was 145 years old!"
"What was his name?" asks Neil.
Dub lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Austin."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11452.html
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Active learning
George Bush and George Bush were dragging the deer they had just shot back to their truck. Another hunter approached, pulling his along, too."Sirs, I don't want to tell you how to do something," he said, " But I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer the other way. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, they decided to try it. A little while later George said to George, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah," says George, "but we're getting farther from the truck."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11453.html
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Genie
A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous enough to share your good fortune." The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm always happy to share." The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I'll give every conservative in the country two of it. What's your first wish?" "I would like a new sports car." "O.K., you've got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What's your second wish?" "I'd like a million dollars." "O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars. What's your third and final wish?" "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11454.html
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