Funny Jokes - Gender Jokes
Gender Jokes
8 things women won't say
8. What do you mean today's our anniversary?
7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
6. Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big!
5. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends'
4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
3. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
2. I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way to much for a designer dress.
1. Hey, pull my finger!
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I haven't spoken in months
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don't like to interrupt her.
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Woman saying something smart
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man one told me ...."
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Women and small feet
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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Picking up a woman in a laundromat
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine, will never be able to support you.
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New scientific element: woman
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
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The man with one hand
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop.
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Changing a light bulb
How may men does it take to change a light bulb?
None they sit in the dark and complain.
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