Funny Jokes - Gender Jokes
Gender Jokes
Six most important men in a woman's life
THE DOCTOR because he says "Take your clothes off."
THE DENTIST because he says "Open wide."
THE HAIR DRESSER because he says "Do you want them teased or blown?"
THE MILKMAN because he says "Do you want it in the back or in the front?"
THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says "Once it's in you'll love it."
THE BANKER because he says "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest."
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Tight skirt
One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt.
When the bus arrived, and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight that she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzipps her skirt a little.
She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.
So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way.
Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifts up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.
So, seeing how embarrased the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus.
The girl turns around furiously and says, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!”
Shocked, the man says, “Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends.”
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The pharmacist
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.
I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside.
I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.
I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.
Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is till ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.
The phone is still ringing with no let up, I finally got back to answer it."
The pharmacist continues, "It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!!!"
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She-devil
There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night.
So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home.
The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face.
He just looks at her and says, ''You don't scare me I am married to your sister!'''
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3 women went out drinking
3 women went out drinking, and decided to have a contest of who could get the drunkest.
The next day the women all got together.
The first woman said, "I drove my car into a ditch."
The second woman said, "I blew chunks."
The third woman said, "I burned down my house."
After they all had told their stories, the third woman said, "I guess I won," and the second woman said, "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog."
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Marriage and cheating
Marriage was invented because it's only so much fun to cheat at cards.
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Womens monthly pain
Why do you call a womens monthly pain a period?
Because Mad Cow Disease was taken.
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Diswasher breaks down
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her in the butt!
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