Funny Jokes - Gender Jokes
Gender Jokes
50-50 relationship
What do men consider a 50-50 relationship?
We cook, they eat! We clean, they dirty! We iron, they wrinkle!
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Why
Why do only 10% of men go to heaven?
Because if they all went it would be hell!
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What men hear when women speak
What a woman says: "This place is a mess C'mon, you and I need to clean up.
Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"
What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah,
C'mon blah, blah, blah, blah,
you and I blah, blah, blah, blah,
on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah,
no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah,
right now !
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Men chasing women
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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Black widow spiders
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Men at 35..
A woman of 35 thinks of having children.
What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
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Men and blondes
Why do men prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
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About last night
After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
"Louise," he moaned, "Tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful tone. "You made a complete ass of yourself.
You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."
"He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"
"You did. All over his suit," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him," said John.
"I did, said Louise, "You're back at work on Monday."
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