Funny Jokes - Adult Jokes
Adult Jokes
What did the dick say to the condom?
What did the dick say to the condom? "Cover me, I'm going in!"Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11774.html
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Teacher and Penis Graffiti
One day a school teacher comes into her classroom and sees the word "Penis" written on the board. She looks around and erases it. The next day she comes into her classroom and she sees "PENIS" written on the board again, but a little bigger. This keeps on happening until one day she screams at the top of her lungs: "WHO KEEPS ON WRITING PENIS ON MY BOARD!???"She erases it and goes home. The next day she walks into her classroom and on the board it says: "The more you keep rubbing it... the bigger it gets!!"
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11812.html
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Magic Mirror
A guy comes home from work and notices that his wifes breasts are bigger then they were when he left. "What happened?" he said."I don't know", she said. "I was up in the attic cleaning and I found this mirror. As I was looking in the mirror i wished that my breast were bigger, then *BAM* they were bigger!"
"Hmmm...", said the husband, "I can use this to my advantage."
So he went to the mirror and wished that is penis would touch the floor... and his legs fell off.
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11851.html
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I'll have anything but a Bud Light
A man walks into a bar. The bartender says,"What can I get ya?"The man says, "I'll have anything but a Bud Light."
So the bartender hands him a Miller.
This goes on all night. The man wants anything but a Bud Light.
It's last call so the man orders one more "anything but a Bud Light."
The bartender finally asks him," How come you don't want a Bud Light?" The man says,"
Well last time I had a Bud Light I blew chunks."
The bartender says," That's no big deal, everyone throws up when they have too much beer."
He says," No, Chunks is my dog."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11866.html
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Sign on the Brothel
Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?A. Beat it! We're closed.
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11909.html
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Wife isn't much fun
Magnussen goes to a marriage counsellor and says, "My wife isn't as much fun as she used to be."The marriage counsellor says, "Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?"
Magnussen says, "As much as the next fellow."
The counsellor says, "Maybe between you and the next fellow, she's exhausted."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11930.html
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How is a woman like an aeroplane?
How is a woman like an aeroplane?Both have cockpits.
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11933.html
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Viaxative
Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time?He didn't know if he was coming or going.
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11938.html
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