Funny Jokes - Adult Jokes
Adult Jokes
Which room in hell?
A man went to hell where the devil showed him 3 rooms. He is to choose one room to be in for all eternity.First room he was shown opened up to a sea of fire, where thousands of souls were burning in agony. The man said "No please! I don't want to be condemned to such agony!" Devil replied "Alright, we'll go on to next room".
Second room opened up to millions of souls tied to pillars and they were whipped mercilessly by demons. The man said "No please! I beg you, not this room!" Devil replied "Alright, we'll go on to next room".
Third room opened up to a sorry-looking old soul who's suffering from a rotting skin that reeks of blood and pus. A gorgeous woman was giving him a blowjob. The man turned to the devil " Yes! This is the room I want to spend for all eternity!" Devil replied "Alright, so it shall be done." The Devil then turned to the sexy woman and said " Hey you, you're being replaced".
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11728.html
Emailing Joke to Your Friends...Email this joke to your friends!
A woman goes into the grocery store
A woman goes into the grocery store, buys 1 loaf of bread, milk, toothpaste, and toothbrush.She goes to check out. "Single, eh?" the clerk asks.
The lady smiles and looks at him. "How'd you guess, honey?"
He pauses.... "Cause your fucking ugly."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11557.html
Emailing Joke to Your Friends...Email this joke to your friends!
How to baffle an archaeologist
How to baffle an archaeologist: Give him a tampon and ask him wot period it came from.Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11738.html
Emailing Joke to Your Friends...Email this joke to your friends!
Nun, Hippie and a Bus-driver
There is a nun and a hippie on a bus.The hippie asks the nun "will you fuck me?"
The nun replies "no!"
So the nun gets off the bus and then the bus driver says "I know how you can get in that nun. You go to the cemetery tonight at midnight and come dressed as god because shes there worshipping her god."
So the hippie goes to the cemetery and has sex with the nun.
After the sex the hippie rips off his mask and says "Ha! I'm the hippie"
The the nun rips off her mask and says "Ha! I'm the bus driver."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11610.html
Emailing Joke to Your Friends...Email this joke to your friends!
Cinderella ran out of tampons
Cinderella went going to a ball but was out of tampons. So her fairy godmother gave her one and but warned "If your not back at 12:00 tonight it will turn into a pumkin."When Cinderella got back at 5:00 pm the next day, her fairy godmother asked her "Did it turn into a pumkin?"
Cinderella replied: "Yes, but I found a guy named peter-peter-pumkin-eater."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11698.html
Emailing Joke to Your Friends...Email this joke to your friends!
Camping question
guy: If you went camping and the next morning you woke up and you seen that there are 2 naked guys laying next to you and you had a condom in your ass would you tell anyone..Other Guy: no
Guy: Wanna go camping?
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11704.html
Emailing Joke to Your Friends...Email this joke to your friends!
Wife moving to las vegas
A man comes home from work one day to find his wife packing up all of her things."Where do you think you're going?" he asks.
"Las Vegas!" she replies.
"Las Vegas? What's in Las Vegas?" He inquires.
"I just found out," she snaps," that i can can get 500 dollars for what i've been giving you for free all these years!"
The husband rund up stairs, packs his bags and comes running back.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.
To which the husband replies,"I'm going to Las Vegas to see how the Hell you're going to live off $1000 dollars a year!"
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11733.html
Emailing Joke to Your Friends...Email this joke to your friends!
Robbing a Sperm Bank
A man runs into a sperm donation clinic with a ski mask and a gun in his hand and points it at the women attending the front desk."sir this is sperm bank we don't carry a lot of money" says the woman nervously
"yea i know grab a few vile's of sperm!" yells the man
the woman grabs 3 and comes back
"open one and drink it!" the man yells
the woman does so fearing fearing for her life
after which the man yells "now drink another one!"
after drinking the second the man has her drink the final one
after which the woman asks "sir why are you making me do this?"
the man pulls off his mask and says "see hunnie its not that bad!"
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11735.html
Emailing Joke to Your Friends...