Funny Jokes - Adult Jokes
Adult Jokes
More Time
A guy and a gal were in the backseat of his car after having sex. The guy says to the gal, "If I would have known you were a virgin I would have taken more time." The gal replies, "Hell, if I'd a known you had more time, I'd a taken off my pantyhose."Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11035.html
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Chinese Daughters
A Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest daughterwhat kind of man she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest,"
said the eldest daughter.
He then asked his second daughter who she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest,"
said the second daughter.
He finally asked his youngest daughter who she would like to
marry.
The youngest daughter replies, "I would like to marry a man
with one draggin' on the ground."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11036.html
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Truth about barbie
A little girl jumps on Santa's lap:Girl: "For Christmas, I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa: "Don't you know Barbie comes with Ken?"
Girl: "Oh no Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken, she cums with G.I. Joe."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11024.html
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Two Old Ladies
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11023.html
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Quick Joke
I was going to put a dick joke here, but it's too long for the space provided.Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11014.html
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Young lady's airplane
A young lady went to a dance,and she had a low-cut, strapless gown on. Around her neck she wore a little golden airplane on a long chain. All night she noticed a young man staring at her.In her embarrassment, she held up the airplane and said, "Oh, you like my airplane, huh?"
The young man smiled mischievously. "No ma'am, I was just admiring the landing field."
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11013.html
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Sperm Bank
A Polish women knocks at the door of the sperm bank. A man answers the door and asks, “May I help you?” She says, carefully holding her head back and gargling slightly, “I have a deposit to make”.Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11047.html
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Row house
A man and his wife live in a row house where all of the houses look alike. The wife tells the husband that everytime he goes out he returns to the wrong house and disturbs the neighbors.
To fix the problem the man puts a lantern on his porch to remind him of his house.
So, like clockwork he goes out and gets plastered. Upon returning home he sees the lantern and says to himself "Theres my house and there's the lantern I put on the porch."
Satisfied with himself he walks onto the porch and puts his key in the door, "I knew it, this my house cause my key works."
Now even more impressed with himself, he enters into the house and goes to his bedroom. Upon entering he exclaims, "I knew this was my house cause there is my wife, and there I am in bed with her!"
Joke Permalink: http://www.funny-jokes.net/viewjoke/11206.html
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